A couple of weeks ago, I had the bright idea of cutting back on our Pre-K/Daycare for our "5 yr. old big twins" to save some money on tuition expenses. I'm really trying to be cautious these days, taking into account the formula, diaper and grocery expenses for four kids--its not cheap!
I moved the big kids from two full-days per week, to half-days, three times per week. This change cut our monthly school tuition in half. In half! It was a wonderful moment! I was so proud of myself! I felt so fiscally responsible!
The first week went by without a hitch. The five of us enjoyed lazy mornings at home, I was still able to get a shower in during baby nap-times, and then by lunch time, my aunt (who is my primary helper) was coming over to help, the big twins were going off to school, and life was good.
By the second week, I began to notice that I was sooo tired. I mean dragging. And I seriously couldn't figure out why! (My brain is truly fried). My normal happy, positive attitude was gone a I was turning into a snappy, short-tempered mommy monster. I couldn't figure it out. I was blaming it on the weather, on possibly coming down with something...etc.
And then by Week 3, it hit me like a ton of bricks! Two sets of twins at home under my daily care for 5 hour stretches without another adult present was KILLING me. The energy it takes to entertain my two wired 5 year olds, plus two spunky, crawling babies, far exceeded the energy of this 37-year old mother of four, who still was nowhere near the great pre-pregnancy shape I was once in.
After weighing in a my girlfriend, my mom and hubby for their support, I quickly dialed the school and while holding the phone with one hand, crossed the fingers of the other hand, praying that they hadn't given away the spots. Lady Luck was on my side. Again. They were in. Starting tomorrow, my zen-like existence (or whatever you want to call having two sets of twins, but with two of them mostly at school!) would return.
Next time I get another one these great money-saving ideas, someone please read me this post!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Evan and Reilly's 1st Birthday Invitation
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| Make a Smilebox invite |
This is absolutely my latest favorite web site www.smilebox.com
I created Evan and Reilly's 1st Birthday invitation in minutes! It was fast and easy--two very important things for a mom of 4!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Some things you should know from the get-go
I like to tell people that we have two sets of twins just to see their reaction! It always ranges from a shocked, terror-filled look, to a Thank-God-It's-Them-And-Not-Me gentle expression!
I play this game because its a., hilarious to shock people, and b., because I know that raising two sets of twins is really not as difficult as it sounds. It's all perspective! I kind of like to call this God giving me a chance for "do-over".
When we were mucking through the trenches of the baby and toddler years with our first set (now 5 years old), I will admit that I did not do such a great job. I let the fact that there were TWO babies completely overwhelm me, and pretty much psyched myself out.
Here's what I've learned. Maybe it can help you, too!
1.Treat your babies like individuals.
Instead of focusing on the "Twins" aspect, tell yourself that you are raising two babies. They are two unique, same-age people! And, being the same age, they can (and should) share the same meal times, nap times, play times and bed times. But just keep in mind that they are two different people and should be treated as such. For example, if you have two friends, would you treat them both exactly the same? One might prefer coffee over tea, one might love chocolate while the other is allergic. You would respect these facts, correct? You have to treat the babies the same way! It'll help you avoid comparisons and the inevitable frustrations when it seems like one little guy (or girl) isn't "going with the plan".
2. Keep them on the same routine!
3. Give yourself a break whenever possible.
I know that you are probably laughing at this statement, but its true. I have the luxury of being friends with about seven women who all have one set of twins, and everyone says the same thing: you MUST give yourself a chance to "clock-out" even if it's just 30 minutes for a walk around the neighborhood or (Gasp!) a mani/pedi at the local salon!
Yes, you have twins. Yes, you have responsibilites that are greater than those of parents with just one baby. But you know what, if you don't give yourself some time away from these precious little sweeties, than you are going to lose your perspective. You are going to start wiping your husband's crumbs from his mouth, you will start talking to grown-ups the same way you talk to your babies, and...you will start to forget that you haven't washed your hair for 4 days and that your sweats are covered in pee pee and spit up!
Ask a neighbor, ask your best friend, mother in law, or some nice soul to come and babysit for a little while. People LOVE being asked, and do not mind helping out. **It took me until the 2nd set of twins came along to realize this is true.**
You know why they love helping? Because people love to get an insight as to how life is like with twins. And don't fool yourself, most women are capable of handling two babies! Especially moms who have more than one child. They will love the opportunity. Trust me on this!
I play this game because its a., hilarious to shock people, and b., because I know that raising two sets of twins is really not as difficult as it sounds. It's all perspective! I kind of like to call this God giving me a chance for "do-over".
When we were mucking through the trenches of the baby and toddler years with our first set (now 5 years old), I will admit that I did not do such a great job. I let the fact that there were TWO babies completely overwhelm me, and pretty much psyched myself out.
Here's what I've learned. Maybe it can help you, too!
1.Treat your babies like individuals.
Instead of focusing on the "Twins" aspect, tell yourself that you are raising two babies. They are two unique, same-age people! And, being the same age, they can (and should) share the same meal times, nap times, play times and bed times. But just keep in mind that they are two different people and should be treated as such. For example, if you have two friends, would you treat them both exactly the same? One might prefer coffee over tea, one might love chocolate while the other is allergic. You would respect these facts, correct? You have to treat the babies the same way! It'll help you avoid comparisons and the inevitable frustrations when it seems like one little guy (or girl) isn't "going with the plan".
2. Keep them on the same routine!
Probably the most important piece of advice I can give is to tell you to keep your babies on the same schedule. It just makes sense. And it will save you a lot of time and carrying babies back and forth from highchairs and cribs. Put your babies to nap at the same time, feed them together, and put them to bed at the same time. Sure, one might fall asleep first, one may wake up first, that's okay... As long as they follow the same pattern, they will quickly learn the routine and know what to expect.
When Jack and Sophie were babies, we got the routine part for eating and night-time sleep down pretty easily. What almost pushed me over the edge were the daytime naps. I had a hard time figuring out when to put them down for their nap, how many they needed, and what to do if one baby wouldn't fall asleep!
I follow the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", by Marc Weissbluth, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
for learning how to "sleep train" my babies. This book really helped me learn how to set up a pattern for sleep, when to put the babies down, and most importantly, the CONFIDENCE that I was doing things correctly.
for learning how to "sleep train" my babies. This book really helped me learn how to set up a pattern for sleep, when to put the babies down, and most importantly, the CONFIDENCE that I was doing things correctly. 3. Give yourself a break whenever possible.
I know that you are probably laughing at this statement, but its true. I have the luxury of being friends with about seven women who all have one set of twins, and everyone says the same thing: you MUST give yourself a chance to "clock-out" even if it's just 30 minutes for a walk around the neighborhood or (Gasp!) a mani/pedi at the local salon!
Yes, you have twins. Yes, you have responsibilites that are greater than those of parents with just one baby. But you know what, if you don't give yourself some time away from these precious little sweeties, than you are going to lose your perspective. You are going to start wiping your husband's crumbs from his mouth, you will start talking to grown-ups the same way you talk to your babies, and...you will start to forget that you haven't washed your hair for 4 days and that your sweats are covered in pee pee and spit up!
Ask a neighbor, ask your best friend, mother in law, or some nice soul to come and babysit for a little while. People LOVE being asked, and do not mind helping out. **It took me until the 2nd set of twins came along to realize this is true.**
You know why they love helping? Because people love to get an insight as to how life is like with twins. And don't fool yourself, most women are capable of handling two babies! Especially moms who have more than one child. They will love the opportunity. Trust me on this!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Helpful Resources for Pregnancy, Sleeping Habit & Discipline
Over the years I've bought a mountain of books about raising twins, looking for the secrets on how to do it! While there is no one book, I have found a few that are my "go-to" books whenever we hit a particular milestone in our children's growth.
Pregnancy:
When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads, by Dr. Barbara Luke
This book was the best manual for any woman who has just found out she is expecting twins or higher order multiples. It gives advice in a plain easy to read format from a qualified OB/GYN. It also gives you the information you need on diet, including sample eating plans, how many calories you'll need to consume to help you maintain a healthy pregnancy.
Sleep Training/Napping Guidelines:
This book was first referred to me by my old boss who proclaimed it "THE Bible" for learning how to create a daily routine for putting your children down for a nap or to sleep. Any parent of twins knows that you have to have a routine in place for sleeping and napping or else your ship will be sunk! After all, its very easy to rock ONE baby to sleep, but it's another to try to rock two!!
Dr. Mark Weisbluth helps you understand why babies and toddlers need sleep, what time you should shoot for naps and bedtime, how to spot a sleepy child, and common mistakes that we can easily avoid. To say this book changed my life may sound melodramatic, but it DID! The trick is to teach your caregivers/helpers the routine and get them to follow it, too.
Taming Toddler Tantrums/The Terrible Twos
Once my first set of twins hit the terrible twos (actually the terrible 1's, 2's and 3's!) I knew that I needed some more resources to help me learn how to manage these two. My voice was getting hoarse from screaming all day and I had used the "call dad home work from home early option" one too many times!! A friend of ours suggested we read "1-2-3 Magic" to learn the counting system for discipline. Reluctantly I got the book and flipped through it a few times. I was weary of this method because a., I thought I would sound silly "counting" my children when they were misbehaving, and b., I really didn't think it would work!
Well, one day after I put it in place and explained to my kids the system (you basically give them til 2 to listen, and then at the count of 3 they must sit in time out for the duration of their age), sure enough, they were listening.
Essentially, children want to do good and be praised and conversely, DO NOT want to be scolded or put in a place where they are alone and do not get attention. After a few days, I barely got to 3, and now, 3 years later, I rarely get to 2!
Pregnancy:
When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads, by Dr. Barbara Luke
This book was the best manual for any woman who has just found out she is expecting twins or higher order multiples. It gives advice in a plain easy to read format from a qualified OB/GYN. It also gives you the information you need on diet, including sample eating plans, how many calories you'll need to consume to help you maintain a healthy pregnancy.
Sleep Training/Napping Guidelines:
This book was first referred to me by my old boss who proclaimed it "THE Bible" for learning how to create a daily routine for putting your children down for a nap or to sleep. Any parent of twins knows that you have to have a routine in place for sleeping and napping or else your ship will be sunk! After all, its very easy to rock ONE baby to sleep, but it's another to try to rock two!!
Dr. Mark Weisbluth helps you understand why babies and toddlers need sleep, what time you should shoot for naps and bedtime, how to spot a sleepy child, and common mistakes that we can easily avoid. To say this book changed my life may sound melodramatic, but it DID! The trick is to teach your caregivers/helpers the routine and get them to follow it, too.
Taming Toddler Tantrums/The Terrible Twos
Once my first set of twins hit the terrible twos (actually the terrible 1's, 2's and 3's!) I knew that I needed some more resources to help me learn how to manage these two. My voice was getting hoarse from screaming all day and I had used the "call dad home work from home early option" one too many times!! A friend of ours suggested we read "1-2-3 Magic" to learn the counting system for discipline. Reluctantly I got the book and flipped through it a few times. I was weary of this method because a., I thought I would sound silly "counting" my children when they were misbehaving, and b., I really didn't think it would work!
Well, one day after I put it in place and explained to my kids the system (you basically give them til 2 to listen, and then at the count of 3 they must sit in time out for the duration of their age), sure enough, they were listening.
Essentially, children want to do good and be praised and conversely, DO NOT want to be scolded or put in a place where they are alone and do not get attention. After a few days, I barely got to 3, and now, 3 years later, I rarely get to 2!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Almost 1!
It's hard to believe that so many months have gone by since I started this blog! And I only made one entry! I think that is proof enough that raising two sets of twins leaves one with little time for chatting (or blogging!).
I'm happy to report, however, that both boys are now 11 months old, and we're all adjusting pretty well to life with two sets of multiples.
At this point, the babies have been sleeping through the night for a few months, so we're starting to catch up on a bit of much-needed rest. They also take two regular naps during the day. This routine is great for everyone; the day has a rythym and flow, and everyone sort of knows what to expect. A definite plus for mommie like me who like order amidst the chaos!
Jack and Sophie, our 5-year old set of fraternal twins, are an amazing resource for us! Who knew? They love being "Mommy's Helpers" by running for a wipe or an extra tissue, grabbing a new diaper, or just making the babies laugh!
I'm happy to report, however, that both boys are now 11 months old, and we're all adjusting pretty well to life with two sets of multiples.
At this point, the babies have been sleeping through the night for a few months, so we're starting to catch up on a bit of much-needed rest. They also take two regular naps during the day. This routine is great for everyone; the day has a rythym and flow, and everyone sort of knows what to expect. A definite plus for mommie like me who like order amidst the chaos!
Jack and Sophie, our 5-year old set of fraternal twins, are an amazing resource for us! Who knew? They love being "Mommy's Helpers" by running for a wipe or an extra tissue, grabbing a new diaper, or just making the babies laugh!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Hello and Welcome!
My name is Vayia Skinner and I'm the mom of two sets of twins!
While we're no "Jon and Kate plus 8" I can say that raising two sets of multiples has it share of up's and down's.
I decided to create this blog as a place to share information, helpful tips, do's and don'ts and the joys (and sometimes pain!) of raising multiples. I certainly am no "expert" but going through the experience a second time around, I have a lot of clarity as to what works and what doesn't.
Read on, feel free to post comments and don't hesitate to ask questions on issues that are important to you.
Vayia
While we're no "Jon and Kate plus 8" I can say that raising two sets of multiples has it share of up's and down's.
I decided to create this blog as a place to share information, helpful tips, do's and don'ts and the joys (and sometimes pain!) of raising multiples. I certainly am no "expert" but going through the experience a second time around, I have a lot of clarity as to what works and what doesn't.
Read on, feel free to post comments and don't hesitate to ask questions on issues that are important to you.
Vayia
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